My mom tried so hard. It was always a disaster. From John Williams Cotillion to Anne Tobin Rolands Miss Manners. Any chance to get me in gloves and have good posture she signed me up.
Her dream was to raise a lady and have her marry well. She used to tell me , "Mindy , marry a doctor. They make plenty of money and they are never home." The key to this was to be a lady.
In the above photo I have managed to sneak out of a Fox Trot, take off my gloves and move all the food next to me on the couch in the San Antonio Country Club. My legs aren't together and I am pretty sure at a ripe old age of 12 or 13 I was about to say, "FUCK" because some snitch was taking a photo of my un lady like behavior. For appearances it was the best and my mother was so happy. I was eating with Red Mccombs's grandson and making 60 minutes for helping with the John Williams and showing up on PBS for knowing how to be a great hostess and where my silver wear goes. The only thing that lasted was the fact that if silverware was placed at the front of my plate we were having desert. If there wasn't cake you earned my life long resentment for being a place setting liar.
I have a tacky bit in my stand up set about how both of my parents lacked confidence in me as an individual and were training me to marry well. If they had communicated better my mom could have saved a lot of money with those fancy classes because my the other stuff I was learning was free and it was a solid blow job that landed me both of my husbands. Then I call anyone who didn't laugh a child molester .
I like a good dirty laugh. I like calling people names from a stage. I am not a lady if ladies don't do that. I asked friends what being a lady meant to them. Mostly it was grace and not drawing attention to one's self. I am an awkward babbling loon. I draw attention even without trying. I ask questions I imagine other people are wondering . I sound rude, I use critical thinking and judge out loud when I deem necessary.
| Does not being lady of a superior social position or sneaking food and leaving my legs un crossed make me less of a woman? I feel like it does sometimes. Do I imagine Jackie Kennedy and think of me ? Nope not me. |
I think a modern day lady close to Phaedra Parks, clutching her pearls and saying Fix it Jesus.
My most mesmerizing encounter with real ladies are the women that I see at shows, gloves, ball gowns perfect make up and even escorts dressed in suits to take their hands as they step off stage. I am so obsessed and enchanted. Everything I long to embody as a natural woman NO ONE does better than a drag queen....
These woman ! These Queen's in several senses embody everything I have learned a lady is. I am waiting to hear from you what do you imagine a lady to be?
Sincerely,
All woman but not an ounce of Lady
Last but not least my favorite anthem
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